Monday, April 18, 2011

Palm Sunday

There is so much crowding my mind this evening, that I am not sure that I can sort any one thing out to really dig into and write about.

Our Caja de Lamentos is filling up, waiting for Saturday when we can open it up and burn away all of our sins like Christ did on the cross, and my heart is filling up with grace and gratitude for all that I have and all that Christ has done for me and made real to me in these last years.

Elizabeth is gone for a week long trip to visit my family on my father's side in GA, which has been very difficult for us.  Jo and Elizabeth share a bedroom, and Jo really feels Elizabeth's absence.  She is also of the age to be able to ask why 'Izzie' can go with Grandma and Grandpa to Georgia, and she can't.  That is as hard as it is painful to try to much so that I can not even put it into words here - for which I have filled out many papers to tuck into our Caja this week - and I feel a great sadness for the state of affairs in our family.

Gabriel is cutting about 4 more teeth all at the same time and he got bitten by some kind of something that crawled up his pants leg and bit him a few times so the area is red and swollen, so sleep has been a rare commodity around here.

Jo is out of school this week and because of the rain on Saturday, our business has not yet moved, so she is home all day with us.

Which means that I am dying to sit down with her and work with her on her letters and numbers, which she is so ready and wants to learn, but really, I have to work.  And all that bring me around to how much I want to be home with my kids and home school them here but how that seems to be impossible because I have to work to support the family.  We can't make it on Jimmy's salary alone. 

So I have to ask, where does God want me?  What does he really want me to do?  Does He really want me to be sitting at a desk doing paperwork all day?  Is this what my life amounts to?   Chafing against the bonds that hold me to this job?  It is a good job.  I have a great boss and a wonderful person to work with all day, every day (my husband!).  But I can't seem to settle in to this job and give it my all and commit myself to accepting that this is what I was made to do.

My body hurts from sitting at a desk all day.  My fingers go numb from using the computer and mouse for hours at a time.  It this really what I was made for?

But to end this on a positive note, and to focus my heart and mind back to the things in life that bring me joy and love,

our church's Easter Egg hunt was this past Sunday, Palm Sunday.

Jo was amazed and surprised that she was being encouraged to pick up candy off the ground.  She didn't remember the last egg hunt that was outdoors because last year it was raining, so we did games indoors.

Gabriel started off with the right idea, but then he just started to pick up rocks, sticks, mulch or whatever he wanted and dropping it in the basket only to pick it back out again and throw it on the ground.  He ended up with one half of an egg in his basket by the end, but hey, he had fun and that was what it was all about, anyway!

Gabriel was also very content because his buddy Jordan was there ready to do anything and everything he wanted the whole time.  Can it get any better than this?

Jo had a blast on the playground with her Sunday School friends (and Daddy!), so it was a great time had by all and a lovely afternoon.

Especially since everyone came home and took a nap afterwords!

And after seeing those pictures and writing those words, I feel encouraged and uplifted. 

I hope you do, too!

Oh, by the way...tell me what you think of my new blog design!  (Some of you, (you know who you are!) would be very impressed that I did it all myself...from taking the picture of the grass in the rain, to formatting it and posting it!)


  1. You know, I have said this to you before. Go back to school and finish it. One day at a time. You are younger than me; you know that you can do it. You have the brains, and the willingness to do that. I know exactly how you feel about being able to support your family and working until your fingers go numb from working all the time. You are a very strong woman, stronger than me. You are very smart and if you just finish going to school, the financial situation would go away. I don't know how many times I had to say to my family that I had to work, or "go away I am working." I am so tired of school, but guess what Christina, May 21st 2011, I will receive my Masters!!!! ( Not Showing Off ) It’s that close, and one day not so long ago I thought that day would never come.You have a lot of credits in school. Maybe you can try to do what I did. We can go to Mason, and speak with the BIS (Bachelor of Individualized Studies) office and see what you can get for your all of ur credits and how many more you will need to graduate. I know that you are a great Teacher!!! Maybe God is speaking through me right now, why else would I be up at 4:34 in the morning on Spring Break!!!LOL I love you let's get together soon. I need to see you, and the kids...Specially Jo now that I have been hearing so much about. Is she speaking in Spanish like Elizabeth? See you are a better teacher than me you taught your daughter Spanish, and by the way you speak fluently. That in it's self is a big deal, cause you learned when you were an adult. How many people can say that. Listen, I will go with you to Mason and help you the whole way. I'm there for you. Just tell me when you are ready, I will make a few e-mails to find out when the next informational session is, or if they could give you a private one, to show you what they offer. I am working in Alexandria now. ACPS, I am working at MacArthur Elementary, maybe you can stop by, really anytime. By the way I love it there. God found me a nice place to work, and I am able to survive very nicely now and I am probably get a salary increase in Sept. That is just independence, and peace of mind. (Not Showing Off) You can take your kids to work with u, have the same time off as they do and get paid for sitting on your tukus all summer in a pool! This is better than not seeing them all the time, cause you are working. Right now I feel really good with what I am doing, and I am glad you have this blog so I have a way to stay connected with u. I really miss you and miss talking to you. If you can't come by my work, I can stop by on my way home one day and bring you a cup of coffee, and we could take a 5 Min. Break.

  2. Hey, you gotta warn me when pictures of my fat butt are going to show up in your blog! That's me behind Jordan; thankfully she hides most of me.

    Anyway, I've been wondering about homeschooling too. We're in a totally different situation and I'd be doing it for different reasons than you, but maybe we can bounce ideas off each other sometime. I've done it for a little while in the past with I & D when they were tiny and with a 5th grader (long story).

  3. You are in a tough place that only prayer can answer. Homeschooling has been an amazing thing for our family but it was a major decision. And it took us a while to get into a financial position where we could manage it.
    Also, I think your family situation can be a blessing to your children and others. Families are made when people choose to love each other. The relationship I have with my older sister (same parents) and my younger (12yr.old) adopted sister is completely different but both are so important to me.