Thursday, June 16, 2011

Praying for Rain

I got confused today and thought that it was Friday, so I went over to The Gypsy Mama to participate in Five Minute Friday, but I didn't see any links, so I got concerned thinking that something had happened and then the little candle flickered in my head and I realized that as much as I may want it to be Friday, it is only Thursday.

But since I had stopped by Gypsy Mama's, I read what she had to say anyway and I was really struck by it. 

Just today I was thinking about how blessed I am to be who I am where I am.  I have 3 wonderful healthy children and a loving husband who loves the Lord and loves all of our children equally and helps me to guide them with a firm hand tempered with love and compassion.

How long did I pray for that?  How many tears did I cry after a shattered marriage and a broken heart...a heart laid bear and raw, left to dry in the searing sun?  How many times did I cry for my daughter and desire for her a man to be by my side and to help me lead her in the right way?  How many times did I look into other people's lives and see their 'perfect' union of husband and wife and child and feel my heart rip in two? 

How many times did I cry out to God for what I have right here, right now, sleeping in their beds, sitting on the couch with me and studying for an exam? 

I distinctly remember the anger that I felt.  I remember it welling up inside of me and choking me with its bitterness.  I remember the icy cold fingers that I could feel wrapping their way around my heart as fear told me, 'You are no one. You will not make it.  You are worthless.'

And I hit the wall and I hit my knees and I cried out in pain and in shame and in fear and loneliness.

But God heard me.  He blessed me with a husband who will be here.  A husband who is committed to his family just as he is committed to his God.  A husband who looks into the faces of all three of our children and sees himself in all of them, whether they share his genes or not, because he knows that really, we all share the same Father.

But I remember and think on these things now because Gypsy Mama brought to my mind the prayers that I have prayed and that have been answered and then 'forgotten'. 

I, of course, have not forgotten about Jimmy, but I have distanced myself from who I was when I was on my knees.  And I need to remember to be present and prayerful in my everyday so that I can remember the prayers that God has said 'Yes' to.

As Gypsy Mama said, I don't want to lose sight of these blessings and answered prayers that are all around me because I am in hot pursuit of the next prayer request. 

God's grace and His blessings have fallen on me and my family like thirst quenching, refreshing rain.  

I need to remember to slow down a while and take the time to kick off my shoes, grab a tiny hand and splash in the puddles!


  1. Luke Skywalker is wearing a nice pink & blue dress...

  2. Your family is truly blessed! I am so happy to know you guys! Happy Fathers Day Jimmy! (it's a couple of days early... so i said it FIRST)
    Mrs. Kidney